


Flightless Crow

by SchalaDresdan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Asahi has low self esteem, M/M, Minor Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, and a bit of a breakdown, implied depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23216260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SchalaDresdan/pseuds/SchalaDresdan
Summary: Nishinoya can't wait to meet his soulmate. As soon as his soulmark appears, he ignores convention and shuns the normal protective measures. In his heart, Noya secretly hopes that his soulmate is Asahi.But something happened to Asahi when he left for college. How can a relationship work when one person doesn't feel like they deserve a soulmate?
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35
Collections: Bonded to You





	1. Broken Wings

**Author's Note:**

> In this soulmate AU, when the youngest of a soulmate pair turn eighteen both of the pair get a mark on their left wrist. When it appears it is a black outline. When you bond to your soulmate it becomes colored (the colors vary from couple to couple). If your soulmate dies before you bond it becomes a dull gray.
> 
> A casual touch is all that it takes to initiate a bond between soulmates. If a person never touches their soulmate, skin to skin, the bond will never form. Because of this, it is common for people to cover all of their skin, and wearing gloves at all times is considered commonplace. It is also fairly common for someone to never bond. When you bond with your soulmate, you have to spend the first 24 hours in skin to skin contact. Not only that, but a great deal of contact is required for the bond to form properly. If you lose contact, then you both experience unimaginable pain. After the first 24 hours, you can be some distance apart, starting with a few meters and then increasing over time to a few kilometers. If you get too far apart even after the bond forms, the pain returns. You can also feel the physical pain and emotions of your soulmate. If you or your soulmate dies the other follows.
> 
> Disclaimer: I have not read the manga, and I have not seen any of season 4 yet. This is canon divergent from the end of season 3.

January 1

Asahi yawned loudly. He covered his mouth with his hand, blushing slightly. _It’s only a little past midnight, I shouldn’t be this tired._ He ran his hand down his face, in an attempt to wake himself up as he climbed the long staircase leading to the shrine

The other members of the Karasuno Volleyball Club were also climbing the stairs, at varying paces. Hinata and Nishinoya, always energetic and excited, waited at the top for the rest of the team. 

_It was Daichi’s idea. Coming as a team to the shrine, to pray for the team’s good luck next year._

The remaining team members finally reached the top of the stairs and they approached the shrine as a team. They made their offerings and rang the bell. They bowed their heads and prayed for good fortune for the team in the coming year. Nishinoya added a silent prayer for Asahi.

_Please, he’s got a heart made of glass. It breaks so easily. And I won’t be there to pick up the pieces if it breaks. So please, let him be okay…_

Daichi raised his head and said, “Okay, let’s go.”

Asahi let out a sigh of relief. _Great, this means I can go home and go to bed…_

“3… 2… 1… _Happy Birthday, Asahi!”_ Hinata, Nishinoya, and Tanaka yelled at the top of their lungs. Asahi stumbled back in surprise. They grinned like fools as other team members added their birthday wishes.

Daichi added, “At the end of the next practice, we’ll have a little party for you, with cake.”

Asahi countered, “Only if it’s for your birthday, too”

Hinata looked back and forth between Asahi and Daichi in confusion. Kageyama sighed in frustration and yelled at Hinata, “Yesterday was Daichi’s birthday, you idiot!”

“Aww. man… I didn’t know… Sorry I missed it…” Hinata mumbled as he looked down at the ground.

Daichi chuckled. “It’s okay. I don’t make a big deal out of it.” 

Nishinoya rushed up to Asahi and shouted, “You’re 18 now! Let’s see your tattoo!” _I bet he got something really cool… Even though part of me kind of hopes that he didn’t get it yet. Because if he has a tattoo, that means that it’s not me. That it couldn’t be me…_

Asahi blushed. “N… Noya! That’s private! I can’t show you that!”

Tanaka laughed. “Come on, man. Chances are that you don’t even have one yet. I mean, if your soulmate is younger, it won’t show up until their birthday. Just show us your wrist.”

Asahi sighed heavily. “But…”

Daichi put his hand on Asahi’s shoulder. “Guys, he doesn’t have to show it if he doesn’t want to. Leave him alone.”

“Aww, but we wanted to see… And you won’t show us either…”

Suga stepped forward. “That’s because it’s private. You’ll understand when you turn 18. It’s not something that you display openly to the world.”

Nishinoya crossed his arms over his chest. “Tch. When I get mine, I’m not going to hide it from the world. I’m not going to cover up like everyone else does, either. What’s the point?”

Asahi tilted his head slightly. “What do you mean, what’s the point? It’s to keep people from accidentally bonding.”

“But I want to find my soulmate.” _Whoever he is. I can’t imagine it’s a girl. And honestly… I can’t imagine it being anyone but him._

Daichi sighed. “I hope that you don’t regret that sentiment later. Sometimes it’s better to be cautious, to wait.” He glanced over at Suga.

Asahi smiled. He was the only one on the team that knew. _Dachi and Suga’s tattoos match. But they’ve already talked about it and decided to wait until after graduation. They’re going to apply to the same college, and if they bond during the break between school years, it won’t cause them issues when school starts._

He yawned again. “Thank you, guys, for the birthday wishes. But it’s late. And I think I’m ready to call it a night.” He waved goodbye as he started to walk down the steps, away from the shrine.

“I’ll walk with you!” Nishinoya yelled after him, and ran to catch up.

“You don’t have to. Wouldn’t you rather stay here, with everyone else?”

“Not really.”

Asahi shrugged. “Okay.”

Nishinoya kicked at a pebble in the road. “So, you’re really not going to show anyone your tattoo?”

“No, it’s too embarrassing. What if it’s something really stupid? And Tanaka’s right, chances are I don’t even have one yet. Unless I’m the younger half, I won’t.”

Nishinoya nodded. “But don’t you want to know? I would be going crazy by now.”

Asahi shrugged. “It doesn’t really make a difference if I look now or wait until later. Either it’s there, or it’s not. And my house is close, so it’s not like I have to wait that long.”

He rested his finger on his chin. “I’ll have to start wearing gloves now, and be a lot more careful…”

Nishinoya’s eyes went wide. _Oh, yea, his present!_ He pulled a small, badly wrapped package out of his bag. He held the package out to Asahi. “Happy birthday.”

Asahi took the gift and started to carefully unwrap it. “You didn’t have to get me anything…”

Inside was a pair of black gloves, made of a light, breathable material and intended for everyday wear. _These are really nice… he really shouldn’t have done this. They even have special finger pads so I can use touch screens without taking them off._

Nishinoya looked down at the ground and kicked at an imaginary stone. “I don’t care to go without gloves or anything. I meant it when I said that I wanted to find my soulmate as soon as possible, and I don’t intend to wear them.”

He looked up at Asahi. “But I knew that you would want to. And I didn’t know if you had bought any yet. I hope they fit.”

Asahi opened the box and slipped the gloves out. _They’re so soft… I don’t think I would mind wearing them every day._

He slipped his hands into the gloves and flexed, testing the fit. “They fit perfectly, Nishinoya. They’re a wonderful present. Thank you so much.”

Nishinoya turned his head away, attempting to hide his blush. “Y… you’re welcome. I’m glad that you like them.”

Asahi smiled, tilting his head up towards the night sky to hide his blush. _Somehow he knew just the right gift for me. Nishinoya has been such a great friend, ever since he started at Karasuno. I wish he had been in the same year as me, so we could have been together like this for three years instead of two. It’s not fair, he’s not that much younger than me. Just a few months…_

_Maybe I would have even gotten the courage to tell him how I feel. And now, even though graduation isn’t until March, I still feel like it’s too late._

“It’s going to be weird, y’know? Playing without you.”

Asahi looked down at Nishinoya. “Hmm? Oh, you mean after the spring tournament, right?”

Nishinoya scratched his cheek nervously. “Yea, well… I’ll miss Daichi and Suga, but… I’ll miss you more, Asahi.”

“Maybe we’ll get to play together again in college.”

Nishinoya’s face lit up. “You’re gonna try?”

Asahi nodded. “I’ve been studying. Hopefully I can do well enough on the exams to get in. But I haven’t been scouted for a team, so I’ll have to try out…”

“There’s no way that you won’t get on a team. You’re our ace, Asahi.”

Asahi sighed. “Maybe…”

Nishinoya slapped him hard on the back. “Don’t be like that! You’re going to get on the volleyball team. And I’m going to work extra hard this year, so that I can go to college with you, and we can play together for three more years. Deal?”

Asahi nodded “Deal.”

***

20 Minutes Later

Asahi sighed as he walked into his bedroom. _Home, finally. I forgot how long it takes to walk home from the temple, especially when I’m already tired._

_And now I guess I can’t put this off any longer. Time to see if my soulmate is older than me, or younger…_

He took a deep breath and rolled up his left sleeve. The skin at his wrist was unmarked. He felt a wave of conflicting emotions roll through him. He didn’t know if he should laugh or cry. Or both.

_No tattoo. I don’t have a tattoo. Not yet._

_My soulmate is younger. There’s still a chance…_

_It might be Nishinoya._

*******

April

Asahi waited patiently in line with the other young men who had tried out for the volleyball team. Tryouts had been rougher than he thought, and, despite continuing to practice with the underclassmen, he had felt out of shape and inadequate when compared to the others standing around him. _I want to play, but there’s no way that I made the team._

The coach walked up to a bulletin board, a piece of paper in his hand. He pinned the paper to the board and walked away. The other potential players rushed towards the board, anxious to see their name. Asahi hung back, afraid to see what column his name would be in.

Most of the other men had cleared away from the board before Asahi finally approached it. He scanned the list of accepted new players. His heart sank. _I… I didn’t make the team…_

_I can’t… I can’t believe it… I’ve never not played. Not since middle school._

He fought hard to keep the tears from his eyes. He returned to the line with the other rejected players and patiently waited for the coach to approach them. Several of the others were crying, or struggling not to. 

The coach sighed as he approached the rejected players. “This really is the worst part, gentlemen. I wish that I had room on the team for all of you. But unfortunately that is not the case. You are all welcome to join the club, however. Practice and train with the team. Support them at matches. And then try again next year.”

Asahi sighed so heavily that his shoulders drooped. _I don’t think I can… It would hurt too much. To almost play but never really get to? And what are the chances that I would make it next year?_

_I really am a worthless ace. Anyone would be better than me._

***

October 10

Asahi groaned as his alarm clock blared. He stretched and turned it off. _I don’t want to go to class today. But I’ve already skipped too much, and I don’t want to fail…_

_I’ve already failed at too many other things._

He sighed as he forced himself out of bed. Asahi yawned loudly and walked slowly through his room. Dirty laundry dominated most of the clear space in the small room. The remains of convenience store bentos and instant ramen littered the counter and table in the small kitchen area. He sighed. _I should clean, but what’s the point, really? I don’t have any friends here, no one is going to come over. I have the same routine, day in and day out. I go to class, then I go to work, and then I come home. I eat something, study, and sleep. And then get up to do it again._

_When did my life become like this?_

Asahi trudged silently towards the bathroom. _I don’t even talk to any of the guys anymore. The underclassmen are busy, training to go back to the Spring Tournament. Daichi and Suga are… They’re happy. I can’t dump all this on them. It wouldn’t be fair to them._

The tile floor of the bathroom was chilly on his bare feet. He sighed as he studied his reflection in the mirror. _I look tired. I am tired. I just wish…_

_I keep waiting for things to get better._

He turned on the faucet and cupped his hands under the stream. A bit of black on the inside of his wrist caught his eye. Asahi turned his wrist so he could see it better. He gasped. It felt like someone had put a dagger right through his heart. 

On his wrist was a black outline tattoo. Of a volleyball, superimposed over a crow feather. Tears came to his eyes. “This… this can’t be happening. It’s too cruel. Why this tattoo? And why…”

He clenched his hands into fists and brought them to his eyes, in a desperate attempt to stop the tears. _Why did it have to appear today of all days? Why did it have to give me that kind of hope? Especially when he deserves better than me?_

_Why did I have to get my tattoo on Noya’s birthday?_


	2. Bonding

April

Nishinoya pushed the net aside and walked into the large gymnasium. He closed his eyes and breathed in the familiar scent, took in the familiar sounds.  _ I’ve been feeling so… anxious? Ever since they made me this offer and scouted me to be their libero. I don’t feel like I belong at college. But this? This feels like home. _

He opened his eyes and scanned the court.  _ Where is he? It’s not like he’s hard to miss. Not as tall as he is… _

Nishinoya ran up to one of the upperclassmen. “Hey, where’s Asahi?”

The upperclassman looked at Nishinoya with a mixture of boredom and annoyance. “I don’t keep track of all of the first years. Go look for your friend yourself.”

Nishinoya huffed. “He’s not a first year. He’s a second year. Azumane Asahi.”

The upperclassman tapped his finger on his chin. “Azumane Asahi…? There’s no one by that name on the team.”

“What?!?”

The upperclassman shrugged. “Sorry, man. Whoever your friend is, they didn’t make the team.”

_ He didn’t make the team? How could he not make the team? He was our ace!  _

Nishinoya felt heavy, like a lead weight was pulling him down for the rest of practice. His head was buzzing with different possible scenarios playing through his brain. 

_ Maybe they already had too many good spikers? No, I was watching them earlier and none of them are as good as Asahi.  _

_ Maybe he got hurt? Right before tryouts? That would explain it. But wouldn’t he have told someone, if he was injured?  _

Nishinoya shook his head and struggled not to cry as he changed into his street clothes.  _ He probably got nervous during the tryout. Botched his chance. And then decided not to try out again because he convinced himself that he’s not good enough. _

“Hey, are you really going out dressed like that? Has your tattoo not come in yet?”

Nishinoya turned his head towards the voice. “Huh?”

The upperclassman he had talked to earlier gestured vaguely towards Nishinoya. “Your clothes. They don’t really cover you. Aren’t you afraid?”

Nishinoya shrugged. “Not really.” He flipped his arm over so that he could see his tattoo. “I want to find my soulmate. And I feel like this will help me find them faster.”

The upperclassman leaned over Nishinoya’s wrist. “A volleyball and a feather?”

Nishinoya nodded. “A crow feather. They called my high school team the crows.”

“Oh… so it refers to you.”

Nishinoya nodded.  _ Even though I still hope that maybe… it might be because Asahi is my soulmate. That the feather might represent us both. _

“I don’t think I could do that. The possibility that I might bond, out of the blue, with someone that I didn’t really know? That’s pretty terrifying.” The upperclassman shook his head. “Not to mention that it could really mess you up with classes, or with practice. Depending on who she was and what she was like.”

Nishinoya shrugged. “I don’t really worry about things like that. I figure that it will all work itself out. I mean, how bad of a person can they be if they are supposed to be my soulmate, right?”

_ And I had thought, after my tattoo came in, that it might really be Asahi. _

_ I want it to be Asahi. _

_ So I thought that practice wouldn’t be an issue. But I never considered, even for a moment, that he didn’t make the team! _

Nishinoya closed his locker and shouldered his duffel. “Anyway, that’s the way that I choose to see it. If we’re meant to be together, we’ll work it out.” Nishinoya grinned. “And I want to find them soon, so I can spend more time with my soulmate.”

The upperclassman shrugged as he pulled on his long sleeved shirt. “I guess you have a point…”

“Exactly. See you tomorrow!” Nishinoya smiled and waved at the upperclassman as he pushed open the door to the club room. The upperclassman shook his head.

“He’s… interesting… I just hope that the team doesn’t find itself short a libero when he inevitably does something stupid.”

***

An Hour Later

Nishinoya walked down the sidewalk, his head on a swivel. He searched the thinning crowd around him, looking for one familiar silhouette.  _ Asahi, where the Hell are you?  _ He sighed as he sat down on the grass next to the sidewalk.  _ He’s gotta be here somewhere. Surely we would have heard about it, if he had dropped out. Right? _

He scanned the crowd again, frustrated.  _ Did he not come today? But it’s the first day of class! Maybe he didn’t have class? And he wouldn’t have attended the opening ceremony earlier, since he’s an upperclassman.  _

_ Damn it, Asahi. Where are…? _

His thoughts screeched to a stop as he caught sight of him. He was hunched over, as if he were trying to make himself look smaller. He looked down at the ground as he walked. His face was hidden by his hair, hanging loosely instead of being pulled back like he wore it in high school.

_ But that’s Asahi. I’d recognize him anywhere. God, he looks broken. What the Hell happened to him? And why didn’t he reach out to anyone? _

Nishinoya pushed himself up off of the ground and started to run towards Asahi. “ _ Asahi!  _ I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

Asahi looked up. He blanched as he caught sight of Nishinoya, before turning away from him.  _ Noya… I didn’t… I hadn’t heard that he was coming here. I don’t want anyone to see me like this. Especially not him. I can’t face him... _

He tried to push through the crowd, to put some distance between himself and Nishinoya. Asahi’s eyes darted as he searched for a place to hide.  _ I can’t outrun him, I’m out of shape. I don’t think I could have outrun him even back then… _

And then he felt a weight land on his back.

It all happened in an instant. The weight settling onto his back. The arm going around his neck, touching his exposed skin. The jolt of electricity as their skin touched. And the color bleeding into his tattoo, black, orange, and white against his skin.

Asahi fell to his knees.

Nishinoya made a slightly strangled noise as the jolt moved through his body. _What the Hell was that… Oh… God… we bonded, didn’t we? We’re soulmates._ ** _We’re soulmates?!?_** A feeling of joy bubbled up in his chest.

Only to be crushed by a soft sniffling sound coming from Asahi.

_ Is he crying? _

_ Oh, God… he didn’t want this?!? He doesn’t want me? No, no, no. Don’t jump to conclusions, Yū. I’m sure there’s an explanation for this… _

“A… Asahi? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”  _ That’s it, an injury might explain this.  _

Asahi shook his head. “I’m sorry…” He sniffled loudly. Nishinoya felt tears fall onto his arms.

Nishinoya clung tighter to his neck, trying to increase their contact. “Talk to me… you’re scaring me, Asahi.”  _ What the Hell is he sorry for? Damn it, talk to me! _

“I’m sorry… that you’re stuck with me. You deserve better.”

“What? What do you mean, I deserve better? Damn it, Asahi. We’re soulmates.”

_ And I’ve never wanted anyone else but you.  _

“Um… Asahi? Maybe we could continue this talk elsewhere?” People were starting to gather, staring at them oddly.  _ Most of them have probably never seen a bonding. I haven’t. Not in person. _

_ And while I don’t care, I know he does. _

Asahi nodded slowly. He wiped his face with his sleeve. “There are bonding rooms on campus. They’re staffed and everything…”

“Are they close?”

Asahi nodded. “Yea. If we hurry, we might be able to stay like this?”  _ I don’t want to undress any more than I have to. Not in public. _

He took his gloves off and shoved them in his pocket. Nishinoya wrapped his legs around Asahi, who was struggling to stand with the extra weight on his back. 

Another student rushed up to them. “Azumane? What happened?” He held out a hand to help Asahi up.

“Thanks, Satō. We… it was an accident…” He blushed, embarrassed. 

“You guys bonded? Do you even know each other?”

Asahi nodded. “Satō, this is Nishinoya Yū. I played volleyball with him in high school.” Nishinoya tightened his arms around Asahi, glaring at the other man. 

Satō scratched the back of his head nervously. “Ah, well… you guys need some help?”

“Um… maybe? We need to get to the bonding rooms…” Asahi pushed up Nishinoya’s pant legs and grasped Nishinoya’s calves. He readjusted Nishinoya’s weight slightly.

“Is this your stuff? I’ll gather it up for you guys and be right behind you.”

Nishinoya mumbled, “Thanks…”

Asahi started walking, taking long, fast strides. “Is this okay? It’s not far.”

Nishinoya nodded, resting his cheek against Asahi’s neck. “Yea, this is fine. As long as we get there soon. I feel a little… itchy?” It wasn’t exactly the right word, but it was close enough. It was a strange sensation right under his skin, a compulsion to get more contact with Asahi.

“I’m so sorry…”

Nishinoya rolled his eyes. “Knock that off. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one that tackled you.”

“I know.”

Nishinoya huffed. “Then don’t blame yourself. And don’t think that I’m settling for you, or whatever is going through your mind. I’ve liked you since I first met you.”

Asahi stopped dead in his tracks. “You… you  _ what?” _

“I’ve liked you since the day we met? God, Asahi, I  _ prayed _ for your tattoo not to come in until my birthday. I wanted you to be… for us to be…” Nishinoya suddenly felt like his tongue was glued to the floor of his mouth, incapable of speech.

“You never said anything.”

“Tch, you never seemed interested. In me, in anyone.”

Asahi blushed. “I… um…” His voice lowered to the barest whisper. “I liked you, too.”  _ I just felt like you deserve better than me. _

“Well, then this is great! We both got what we wanted!”  _ So why is he upset? I can tell he’s upset, even though the bond isn’t really working yet. It’s in the set of his shoulders, the slight quiver of his voice. After playing with him for so long, I can just tell. _

_ Something shattered his self-confidence. His self worth. What the Hell happened? _

***

It was only a ten minute walk from where they bonded to the campus bonding rooms. Another five minutes to check in with the desk and be let into a room. Asahi sighed in relief as the staff member closed the door behind them.  _ Fifteen minutes. It’s been fifteen minutes since we bonded. It feels like a lifetime. _

“I… I guess we should get undressed?”

Nishinoya grinned, teasing slightly. “Come on, Asahi. It’s not like we’ve not undressed in front of each other before. Nothing to be shy about, right?”

Asahi blushed. He mumbled, “It’s different…”

Nishinoya chuckled softly in his ear. “I know. I’m just teasing.”

He climbed off of Asahi’s back, keeping a hand on Asahi’s neck. “We should get this over with.”

Asahi nodded. He pulled his sweater off of his arms, so that it was around his neck. Nishinoya touched his back as he yanked it off of his head. Nishinoya’s t-shirt was next. And then their pants. Those were more difficult, as they dealt with buttons and stubborn pant legs. But finally, they were free of their clothes, stripped to their underwear. 

Asahi blushed bright red as he held Nishinoya close to him. “Um… so… I guess the bed is the best place to do this…?”

Nishinoya mumbled, “Yea… everything I’ve ever seen says so. And honestly, I’m kind of tired…”

Asahi’s eyes widened in surprise.  _ He’s  _ **_tired?_** _I didn’t think that he ever ran out of energy. I had heard that the bonding process is draining, but I had no idea…_

Nishinoya swayed a little in Asahi’s embrace. His eyes were half closed already. He yawned loudly. “I don’t know why I’m so sleepy all of a sudden.”

Asahi picked up the smaller man and carried him to the bed. “Let’s sleep then?”

“You’re not getting out of talking to me that easily.”

Asahi set Nishinoya on the bed before crawling in himself. He coaxed Nishinoya onto his chest and wrapped his arms around him. “We can talk when we wake up, Noya.”

Nishinoya smiled as he started to drift off.  _ He called me Noya. That’s the first time that he’s done that. Since…  _

He fell into a deep sleep before he could finish the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of right now, I think that this story is going to be 4-5 chapters long. Also, I don't have the next chapter written yet, so I don't know when the next update will be. Please be patient with me.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU that my beta and I originally came up with for the Yuri on Ice fandom (except in that fandom, the marks appear when the pair both turn sixteen). I anticipate updating in about two weeks, and I'm hoping that this fic will be about 5-6 chapters. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. Kudos and comments are always appreciated. Please let me know what you think!


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